Before you read:
I'd like to introduce you to my blog! I've decided to log my exciting adventures so my friends and family (Hi Dave & Lisa!) could keep up on me. Because of the way blogger organizes the posts, you might want to visit the Blog Archive on the side bar in order to read the first posts. We wouldn't want you to see any SPOILERS!
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Sunday, March 15, 2020
I For One Welcome Our New Insect Overlords!
Hello Gnomegoers! I am posting the first part of a 2 part blog, as a large swarm of enemies is headed for my location, and I should only have time to post the first batch of pictures!
We made our way into the mine, and were a bit worried about the antlions that had made it their home. That is, until we found ourselves some heat.
Freeman still has a wry humor, and thought he'd celebrate our discovery of firearms by shoving me into a locker. I suddenly feel very bad for the boy we'd picked on in grammar school, who found himself in the locker so often that we began calling him lockergnome. He went on to have a failed career in television. So tragic.
As we descended, we discovered a very queer creature. It frightens me, and looks with eyes of hunger. I'm nearly certain that their stench will haunt me well into old age. The doctor believes that they're the larvae of the antlions, and suggested we destroy them. I immediately took charge and slayed the demon babies! While the fight was full of danger, I made swift work of the beast while Freeman cowered in the corner. It was then decided that I would be the official slayer of evil's spawn!
In fact, I've become very capable at slaying the beasts. Freeman may know how to dismantle their larger counterparts with his toys, but this gnome uses pure brute force to overpower the devilish beasts that the Doctor refuses to even touch the corpses out of frozen fear. Even taking this photographs, he was weeping in terror. I pity the good man, even if he is a sadistic humorist.
Speaking of his wry humor, Freeman seems to think that there's some kind of humor in teasing the hanging beasts using none other than myself! Oh it was horrible. I battled endlessly with the creature until Freeman fired a few bullets into it. Although, looking at the pictures now, it does seem quite humorous:
After making it out alive, I decided to go for a boat ride and dream of my beloved Alyx, and how she was doing in the care of our alien friend. Oh, how I missed her sweet blood-and-sweat aroma. The way she climbed into the loft at my home and fixed my power. The way she gagged at my gin breath as I leaned in to show her my art. Gordan quickly reminded me that we were on a mission to save her, so I quickly sprung back into action, gearing up for the poisonous demon swarms we'd soon face.
Dr. Freeman is beginning to show his heroism, though. I believe that the many corpses we've discovered along our way are a testament to our survival skills. Dare I say, we are more than surviving, but in fact waging war on the demons by ourselves? I am far too humble!
We did find a couple of the beasts I liked. Good fellows, they were. They told a few good jokes about a Xen couple exchanging partners with a human couple. It was quite graphic, and I must say I blushed. Funny folk, though. Sadly, I crushed them out of good measure.