Before you read:

I'd like to introduce you to my blog! I've decided to log my exciting adventures so my friends and family (Hi Dave & Lisa!) could keep up on me. Because of the way blogger organizes the posts, you might want to visit the Blog Archive on the side bar in order to read the first posts. We wouldn't want you to see any SPOILERS!

Visit my Flickr page to see all of the photos in this blog, plus more!

Sunday, March 15, 2020

Me, The Mill, and My New Friends...

I wanted to start this first blog post introducing myself. I haven't got much time, as I just got the internet back up in my home thanks to my new friends. We're on our way out the door for an adventure, so I thought it might be a good idea to start this travel blog to keep all of my friends and family up to date!

My name is Trey Gnome. I live--or at least I once lived a simple Garden Gnome's life in a small abandoned mill I inherited from my family. I grew up here as a boy, and have fond memories of times before the combine and the antlions. Times when I would sit in the garden all day and keep the daises and the roses company. Sadly, those times are long passed.

Now I live alone in the house just east of the mill. I have little in the way of necessities: food, television, (that Dr. Breen was good TV) and drink. See, I have a little bit of a drinking problem. It's not so bad as my fathers, (He too loved travel, and even had his own commercial success promoting a travel agency in the 00s) but I'm certainly no saint. I find that the constant day to day struggle with the forces at be give me such a headache. The juice helps me calm my nerves.

Just last week I was drove to drink as the looming Citadel in the distance exploded, knocking out my TV, cutting me off from my BreenTV. Since then, it's been nothing but chaos. More explosions, more antlions, more combine, and worse: The resistance soldiers who deliver my juice haven't shown since the first explosion. I fear they may be dead. A pity, as I was beginning to like the young medic lass. She knew how to make a Gnome feel good about himself. I also miss the juice.

Just as I had given up on life, and had taken enough sedatives to kill a cow, a couple of unlikely guests arrived at my home. More later!

6 comments:

Janey Red Brick said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Janey Red Brick said...

Oops, I wanted to correct a typo in my last post. Didn't know it would leave a tell tale sign I was here.

Anyhow, You have to lay off the juice, lil'gnomey one.

Apparently advice I should take myself too.

Knurd said...

I discovered this achievement by complete accident!! Does that mean I'm a crazy fool? yep, probably!

At first I hoped nobody would ever find out that I am ridiculously silly enough to drag a garden gnome through HL-2 episode 2, taking screenshot "group photos" with it, and then put him in a rocket to wrap everything up.

Then I discover it's an achievement? My jaw hit the floor, I had no idea! Valve gives me a medal for being mentally deranged, and at that I laughed my arse off...

I still don't know how I managed to keep him in the car with a chopper on my arse, I really busted my butt for that stupid little thing!

Fortunately, I don't think any of the women on my horizon are aware of my Halflife gaming, well except for one... uhoh...

...ok my dating life is so screwed...

Tim said...

Vortigaunts have five or six eyes. The other eyes are just mostly closed.

Anonymous said...

ARe you ever going to update this blog again? You made it to digg fairly easily but then you never gave another update. I liked reading all of it please continue.

Knurd said...

Actually if you want stuff you enjoy reading, stay-tuned for "The Virtual Office Blog", daily cracked-up conversations, arguments, debates, or just stupid stuff between a group of 10 or so friends with boring desk jobs.

It's like Seinfeld, only even more irresistibly pointless.