Before you read:

I'd like to introduce you to my blog! I've decided to log my exciting adventures so my friends and family (Hi Dave & Lisa!) could keep up on me. Because of the way blogger organizes the posts, you might want to visit the Blog Archive on the side bar in order to read the first posts. We wouldn't want you to see any SPOILERS!

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Monday, March 16, 2020

My Sleeping Beauty

Good morning, Gnomegoers! I have fantastic news, but I will try to hold back before you've heard how we got here!


Last we talked, Kilgore, Dr. Freeman, and myself were ascending a large cavern deep within the mines in search of the extract. While Kilgore is short on words, he's quite a formidable fighter. We witnessed the alien creature take on four or five antlions all on his own! I don't think I could do that if I only had one eye.

After discovering a faulty elevator, Gordon and I made our way into the den of the mother Antlion. I apologize, but Gordon and I found ourselves running for our lives, and forgot to snap any pictures! Well, there is one. Gordon's over my shoulder, demanding I post it. I didn't think it was very funny at all, considering our circumstances. There were bloody pools full of dead bodies in holes very similar to this one. Gordon is laughing harder as I type. Sometimes I don't like that man at all.

Being an experienced adventurer like myself, you grow accustom to seeing gruesome things like that. I believe we've seen over twenty skinless corpses, and countless other dead bodies, including people we know. The last stretch of the mine was no break from those images, either.


A shame that this poor fellow died so close to a medical pack. Oh goodness, Freeman is still laughing!


This guy must've lost his head. Oh, it seems the Doctor stopped laughing suddenly. Why doesn't he see my humor?

After some investigation, we discovered this engine below where Kilgore was waiting. Through my extremely well developed logic, (and of course, we gnomes are the tinkering race!) I was able to solve this mind boggling puzzle. A gear was missing! How convenient that I should find a gear just feet from the broken motor? It's almost like this little brain teaser was intentionally placed in order to break up the monotony of bug smashing and caves! Don't you love the way life works?


The gear fit perfectly, as if it were a spare gear intended for this motor specifically. Strangely, there were two other gears laying about that were of the exact same size. If I recall my mechanics class, gears have to be accurate within a quarter of an inch in order to function properly. So lucky that we would find three gears all within the vicinity that were so well calibrated?

After getting Kilgore down to our level, he lead us deep into the Antlion hive. He explained that the extract from these combs could help his species do anything. Becoming 'unstuck in time' (as he put it), knowing every wheel of fortune puzzle with only 3 letters, and bringing people back from the brink of death were all easy with the extract. Kilgore sounded like a junkie, to me.




With the extract in hand, we raced up the mine shaft on our repaired lift. It was so convenient that the same elevator leading to the extract was also the elevator leading to the outpost where Alyx was.


When we arrived, the Vorts were all crowded around my beautiful, ready to bring her back to life. Then there was a long and drawn out process where all of the Vortugaunts passed around the extract and described their trips. They offered me some, but I was hesitant, considering they were all turning purple and moaning. Gordan had four hits to their one! No wonder he saw this crazy looking fellow sitting over the future Mrs. Gnome!?



Whatever that trip was, it was worth it. After only an hour of psychedelics, the four brought my beautiful back to life!


I have longed for this moment. Sure, she'd only known me for the last 10 minutes before she was attacked, but the things I whispered into her ear while she was unconscious... The way I caressed her skin while she lay motionless... how I kissed her gently when no one was looking... she must've known all of that for the way she looked at me. She must know how I loved her!



We stayed the night at the outpost, allowing the lady to rest from her wounds. As I lay next to her where she sleep, (Sneaking over from our sleeping arrangements as not to wake her) I dreamed of the life we'd have, and the beautiful kids we'd make.



In the morning, Alyx was still exhausted and weak. We helped her onto the lift, but she was in quite a bit of pain. I'm embarrassed to show these images, as I was blushing from her somewhat attractive stretching. Gordon is quite the trickster with his camera!


We're on our way up the mineshaft and into the day again. I'll post again as soon as possible!

27 comments:

Secone said...

Hooray! Nice going, my gnome friend.

Anonymous said...

Good stuff, as always.

Try not go away for ages this time though. :D

Trey Gnome said...

Please, if you could let others know that I've solved the transmission issues, and that we will be reporting about our trip more frequently? We need all of the input we can get!

Zach said...

Great post Trey! Please keep everyone updated.

Anonymous said...

This blog is awesome and very well written. Can't wait for the next entry!

Trey Gnome said...

Apologies to everyone! It seems my motherboard fried! The Vortigaunt's have used their powers to restore it back to functioning.

clarre said...

than you a lot ! havent laughed to a story from a gnome this good in ages!

Anonymous said...

Hey Trey,



Recently, I stumbled over a rumour on the Internet about HL2 : EP2. Basically, there's being a rumour circling around that there has been a clone of our beloved gnomey found in a non-descript box in HL2:EP2, in the White Forest Base. So basically, you don't really have to carry that gnome around all day, merely travel to the White Forest base and then retrieve the gnome, walk down a few stairs to shove our red hatted friend into the rebel rocket.



I haven't actually tried it out yet, but it might be worth a look.

I just thought I'll let you know.



Here's the details :



It's in the White Forest base near the AR3 guy, here's the pictures.



http://i100.photobucket.com/albums/m13/_koutetsu_/box1.jpg

http://i100.photobucket.com/albums/m13/_koutetsu_/box2.jpg

http://i100.photobucket.com/albums/m13/_koutetsu_/box3.jpg


- Ash

Anonymous said...

Brr. Turns out it was a hoax. ^^^

Anonymous said...

Trey, where are you? We are all worried about you since you haven't made a post in a while.

Escobard said...

Trey don't worry about Gordon and Alyx hooking up. I believe that Gordon likes Alyx as a friend. I think that her father is trying to push them together but Gordon doesn't swing that way. I hope that you will come out the hero and nothing will happen that might cause you to be seperated from the one you love.

Spengo said...

Trey, where have you gone! Has something terrible happened? I hope you haven't been eaten by an antlion!

Greg said...

Please update. We miss you. :'(

Anonymous said...

Update already, it doesn't take a couple months to go up an elevator.

JohnyDarko said...

^^

When was the last time YOU took an elevator in central europe....

;)

Secone said...

So.. Is this dead or what?

King of Internets said...

I, lord of the Internets hereby declare this blog DEAD. (Face it, it's almost been a year)

treY said...

There's still hope :)

Ferrelabraham said...

hey di you know how spawn the gnome? with a comand? i need that for a film im makin please

Anonymous said...

Trey!UPDATE!!!ARE YOU THERE?!!!TREEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!(I am sure you will get the reference.If you didn't,it is an MGS reference.)Anyway,Face it,this blog is dead.It has been a year and 7 months,and it is now August 2008.Goodbye Trey,forever...

Anonymous said...

he is dead, he must be. it has been a whole year. I'm off to cry now

Anonymous said...

Hes dead. Remove this page from your bookmarks

Anonymous said...

Almost a year and two months, Trey is dead although I bet most of us keep the hope someday we hear again of our little friend... but what the hell to be honest he must be dead.
I'm off to kill myself.

Scales said...

WAAAAAAAAAAAH

Anonymous said...

Nooooooooooooooooo Trey, come back to us Trey!

Anonymous said...

Come on... come baaack!!!

Lamarr said...

Hi Trey! My name is Lamarr and I'm a headcrab. I am currently in White Forest and it sounds like you're coming here! If it doesn't work out with you and Alyx, maybe you pay me a visit!