Before you read:

I'd like to introduce you to my blog! I've decided to log my exciting adventures so my friends and family (Hi Dave & Lisa!) could keep up on me. Because of the way blogger organizes the posts, you might want to visit the Blog Archive on the side bar in order to read the first posts. We wouldn't want you to see any SPOILERS!

Visit my Flickr page to see all of the photos in this blog, plus more!

Sunday, March 15, 2020

The Antlions Go Marching One By One, Hurrah! Hurrah!

With Alyx dying somewhere behind us in the caves, we tried to lighten our spirits during our adventure for the life-giving extract that the Vorts were so excited about. Speaking of Vorts, I wanted to introduce you to our personal guide into the depths of the mine: Kilgore. Kilgore is awfully quiet, and seems to think quite highly of the Doctor. He hasn't even spoke to me once since we've left!

Speaking of the doctor: He's up to his mischief, yet again. While traversing the Antlion infested mine, we discovered a large puddle of blood:

I couldn't quite figure it out until Dr. Gordon pointed out an interesting web above the puddle. It seemed to contain the same sort of skinless corpses we'd been finding so often lately.

Of course, the Doctor couldn't leave it at that. He made questionably ignorant comments about the tension of the web, and acted marveled by its elasticity, going to far as to pluck at it with his crowbar.

I was hardly amused.

Despite our good humor, I'm starting to worry about some of the dangers we've been facing. Everywhere we go, there's a foul stench of decaying flesh and dried blood. It seems that the infamous headcrabs that we've grown accustom to killing have a nasty affect on their hosts: Their skin rots off. While this is quite dreadful, it does happen to make for awfully humorous photographs!

I did end up burying the poor fellow out of respect. It felt nice to get down in the dirt with a tool in hand. I am a garden gnome, after all! We found the shovel in a locker nearby. Gordon couldn't resist the opportunity for unoriginal humor. Gordon called it "an inside joke."

I've decided to start sending these photographs to a roommate I had while living in France. Raphaƫl Poulain always wanted to travel, but never could convince himself to go. I thought that if they didn't disturb the old fellow, at least they might convince him to try getting out and seeing the world? I might refrain from sending him a few of the skinless corpse photos, though.

While the rest of our travel has been uneventful, we did find a bit of excitement. After pushing aside a large grain depositor, Gordon and I fell into an out of control grain car! We rushed down the shaft at blinding speeds. Ahead of us, I saw a vertical shaft leading to heavens knows where. Acting fast, I dived in front of the wheel, pushing with my sudden burst of strength. If I died here, who would retrieve the extract for my darling Alyx?

The car slowed and sparked as I heaved all of my massive weight at it. Gordon was able to leap from the car at the slower speed, leaving me just enough time to dive out of the way as the car ascended deep into the chasm. Gordon claims he heard a water splash, but I'm certain it was a never ending pit to the depths of the earth, and that my heroism would be remembered in the history books. Sadly, there were no action photos, as Gordon was too busy drying hims- I mean, too busy crying in the fetal position at the bottom of the cart.

After my heroic accomplishment, we discovered an outpost deep in the cave. It seemed to be owned by the mail carriers that brought me my booze every week. Finding their outpost ravaged and invested with zombies brought tears to my eyes. At least they still had their skin?

I tried to employ the Doctor's method of humor in the face of my sadness. Indeed, I discovered a mine! "Hey look! A mine in a mine!" Oh, I had quite a laugh. Kilgore and Gordon didn't seem to find it so humorous. As if the lockergnome bit were any better?

This outpost has wifi, so I decided I'd post this before we head up the elevator nearby. The zombies are closing in, and I really would like to see my lovely Alyx. Oh how I miss her. Kilgore says that the extract is very close by. Hopefully I'll have good news in a few hours!

No comments: